Adulty Jokes – 少儿不宜

My friend Alice sent me this joke. It is so funny that I literally laughed my tears out every time I read it. I translated it into Chinese. My dear Chinese friends, please have a read to see if its Chinese version is funny.

好友爱丽丝发来一个笑话。太好笑了，我每次读后都会笑出眼泪来。尝试把它译成中文。讲中文的朋友不妨一阅，看看翻译的版本好不好笑。

精子数量测试
老人遇到的问题，你可能想都没想过！
一位85岁高龄的老头去体检，医生要他做一个精子数量测试。
医生给了他一个瓶子，说：“把瓶子带回家，装些精液在里面，明天送过来就好了。”
转天老头果然来了。他递给医生瓶子，可是瓶子里面空无一物。
医生问他怎么一回事。老头解释说：“医生，事情是这样的。首先我用右手，不行。然后我又试了左手，还是不行。”
“然后我叫太太来帮忙。她右手试完又用左手，还是不行。”
“她还用上了嘴。先是不露牙，后来露牙了，还是不行。”
“她还叫上了邻居阿玲来帮忙。阿玲也尽力了。她先用了双手，不行；再用胳肢窝夹着，还是不行；最后她还把它夹在两膝之间，挤了好久，都不行。”
医生目瞪口呆！“这种事，你居然要邻居帮忙？”
—————————————————————————-
老头说：“没错。我们谁也开不了这瓶盖。”

Sperm count

OLD people have problems that you haven’t even considered yet!

An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, ‘Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.’

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, ‘Well, doc, it’s like this–first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I
tried with my left hand, but still nothing.

‘Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then
with her left, still nothing.
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth
out, still nothing.

‘She even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first
with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing’ it
between her knees, but still nothing.’

The doctor was shocked! ‘You asked your neighbour?’ ………………….
……………………………………………………………

The old man replied, ‘Yep, none of us could get the jar open.’